02 Revenge of the Living Dummy by R.L. Stine

Author:R.L. Stine [Stine, R.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Ethan pulled his folding chair to the front of the room. He sat down and bounced the dummy on his lap.

“Which one is Ethan?” a woman whispered loudly. A few people laughed.

Ethan cleared his throat and turned to the grinning dummy. “You’re going to be a good boy today, aren’t you, Mr. Badboy?”

Mr. Badboy shook his head no. “I’m a BAAAAAAD boy! Know how I can tell when someone is old?” he asked Ethan.

“How?”

“By the smell!” Mr. Badboy tossed back his head and cackled.

“That’s not funny,” Ethan scolded him.

“Yeah,” Mr. Badboy shot back. “That joke STINKS! And so do they!”

A few people gasped. The room grew very quiet.

Mr. Badboy’s jaws clicked up and down. “Ethan, do you know the difference between an old person and roadkill?”

“No,” Ethan said.

“Neither do I!” Mr. Badboy cried, and laughed his high-pitched laugh again.

“That is not allowed!” Mrs. Berman shouted from the back of the room. “Ethan, your jokes are insulting people.”

“Your FACE is insulting ME!” Mr. Badboy exclaimed. “I’ve seen PIMPLES that were prettier than you!”

I shut my eyes. I just wanted to disappear. This couldn’t be happening!

“I’m a BAAAAAAD boy!” Mr. Badboy shouted.

He turned his head to a woman with curly white hair and bright red lips. “Is that a new skirt?” the dummy asked her. “Or are you wearing your intestines on the outside?”

Mrs. Berman stormed toward the front of the room, swinging tight fists at her sides. Her face was as red as my sunset painting. “Ethan, I have to ask you to stop,” she said.

Ethan jumped up. “I’m really sorry,” he said. “Sometimes Mr. Badboy acts up. But I know he’ll be good now.”

Mrs. Berman glared at him. “Your jokes are not acceptable!”

“I promise he’ll behave,” Ethan said. He shot me a nervous glance. Then he turned back to the audience. “I need a volunteer. Could you come up and talk to Mr. Badboy, ma’am? I promise he’ll be good. Please — come up here.”

I realized I was holding my breath. What did Ethan plan to do?

Or more important — what did Mr. Badboy plan to do?

Ethan kept pleading with her. So finally, a gray-haired woman in a flowery brown-and-yellow housedress stood up and slowly walked up beside the grinning dummy.

She shook Mr. Badboy’s hand. “Are you going to be a good boy?” she asked, grinning at Ethan.

Mr. Badboy’s eyes blinked up and down. “I like your dress,” he said. “Interesting colors. Or did you spit up your breakfast this morning?”

I gasped. Now I knew for sure. I had no doubts at all. The dummy was alive — and out of control.

The woman laughed. “You’re naughty,” she said. “Someone should spank you!”

“I’d like to spank you, too,” Mr. Badboy replied. “But with that face, I can’t tell which end to spank!”

I turned and saw Mrs. Berman shaking her head and frowning.

“Which color do you like in Britney’s painting?” Mr. Badboy asked the woman. “The red or the yellow?”

She studied my painting for a moment. “The red, I guess.”

And then … it all happened so quickly, it was a total blur.

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